I wish I could take back last night, I wish I could take back everything I said about needing you. Last night I called January, and November, and August/september. and me and january talked for a minute sixteen, and november put up with me for six twenty five, and then there was august/september who didn't pick up because he doesn't remember me at all. I'm trying to stay possitive, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more but he's cheating with people I don't know about, and so is she. and your doing whatever you do and being in two year relationships and I don't want to be your number four, or three, but I'll settle with two, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you and if I'm lucky I have ten more years. This sucks, I hate looking stupid, i'm trying to hard to stay on top of this, and I'm failing with all of it. I wish I knew what to do next, I really do. and I wish that I just had something to keep me preoccupied or whatever, and I'm so lost in all of this that I'm not really in it at all.
fuck my life. it's supposed to be getting better. I think I need to stop fallling in love with everybody, because then I won't get anybody
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