but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I don't know what it is or when it happened, or how I felt when it did, but I recently realised that it's not that your so special anymore. It never was, your just this new type of person that I never realised existed because I was so set on everything I knew, that I compromised knowing anything else. This isn't me trying to sound technical. The only thing new about you is that I can be 100% myself, and when I'm not 100%, i'm 90, maybe even 95. Regardless, there is a such thing as moving on. There is a possibility of finding someone who replicates everything you've ever loved about another person, even if you think you've already met them. It's not impossible to find someone else, there are enough people in this world to believe that there is hope, and that you just need to meet more of them. I'm not sure when I became so void to new possibilities. I think it happened in 6th grade, when a popular boy said he liked my hat and I decided he was the greatest thing I'd ever met. It's a process, a series of finding someone who makes you happy when you can't feel it alone. I think when you're young, not much matters. When you find something that you care about, then that's all you got. I think i wrap myself around the idea of being important to someone who isn't forced at birth to think that way. It's small moments, like sitting next to someone on a couch, or feeling their heart beat, or a small understanding that someone wants to be around you and having this feeling be returned makes all the difference. I'm not saying that we leave this position open to just anyone, it's to this unknowing person who we think is the epitome, who has some special quality that seperates them and makes them the template for everything we will ever love about another person. As humans, we live for this. Most of us try our entire lives to find someone who sticks around, and then we give them everything we have, and we don't save anything for ourselves. That's why it's so much harder to find something the second time around, you've gave it all and have nothing left to give. Then your forced into this false pretense that whatever you had, is the best it's ever going to get for you. But let me tell you, it's not. You may realise this years down the line or months, but loving is not the most important thing there is. It's a perk, they call it life for a reason because all you're supposed to do is live. The main problem we have is that we don't realise it. Everyone is born alone, and all of us will die alone. It's not going to matter in the last few minutes before you die if you gave love all you had. Your going to think about how much you lived. You can argue it, detest it, or you can realise it. But what you really need to do, is put love on a backburner for once.. Go experience things, do all you can, and if you have someone you love sitting along side of you... great. If you don't, take all of it in anyways. Trust me when I say this, seeing out the same windows everyday gets boring. I don't want to wake up thirty years from now and have nothing to justify that I have lived. I'd rather climb mountains and see the world, then be so afraid of getting hurt that I limit myself to a meaningless existance. our lives really are defined by opportunites even the ones we miss. and trust me when I say this, I'd rather live knowing that I gave all my energy into seeing the world, than using it to try and make something work that never will. I guess it's up to you though, you can make the best or worst of it, but I hope you make the best.