and there’s so much you could learn but you don’t want to know,

I feel like I use the same words to describe every feeling I've ever had. I know being heartbroken is the worst of it, it's the thing that compells, astonishes, and holds me back even on my better days. It's the thing that I can't forget, and the thing that I can't seem to get rid of or look past, or find something better than. It's wasting eighteen months on something that only lasted two and a day back in november. It's all those nights I slept on the floor, and those morning breakfasts and the long walks home. It's me gaining every ounce of courage I had left and sitting in the cafeteria drinking coffee with you. It's to all these stupid little days that I realise that not a single person can compare to you, and it doesn't matter how much I complain but the one thing I can't seem to argue is that you are the best it's ever been for me. I have no idea what to do now, being in love with you sucks because even though I know your in love it's not with me, it has never been me. I feel like I've never gave you anything, I know I always say that I gave it the best I had but I lied. I gave up, I could never have the courage it took because that would mean putting myself out there and being vulnerable and I don't think I could handle that. I think I've been in love with you for so long that I started to forget how to love anyone else, and I'm not saying you ruined it for me but you definately killed a large part of me that even now I am still trying to get back. I think I finally realise that some of us really do fall in love alone, and it's not always going to end well. It's not always that fairy tale thing, some of us get hurt and some of us don't pay attention to it. I'm not blaming you at all, It's not like I gave you anything to like. I was so scared, I was shy and afraid of getting to know you. The only good thing is, I have these unchangeable standards that come from finding someone who fits the mold. I've never been one to go for something, and with you I never had to. So let me just sit here and think about things, and try to forget that I let you get the best of me. The sad thing is that I'm starting to forget all these things that you said to me to make me fall for you. The only thing I know is that I had you once, and I don't anymore.

Trust me when I say august is the worst it ever was. You definately know how to make a girl miss you even when your not trying. So this is it, the day I finally did realise that the timing has never been off we will never happen again, and that's the worst feeling in the world. You are just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, then cry after. You introduced me to everything I never wanted to be. But I don't hate you for it. It's true you ruined me, but I let it happen, and I will never be able to get all these months back.

The flowers really aren't the only ones who cry when they see you.
"next time your looking for a girl, keep me in mind?"

"of course"