and i fell in love with everyone besides myself.

I'm getting there, i'm holding on with my bad hand, and I can feel myself letting go again and I hate it. I don't think it's being lonely that's my problem, it's the fact that it doesn't get any better. it just stays the same, and it's always been out of my control. Which is still debateable if i've ever had any. I think my standards for being happy are too high, or maybe It's just the fact that my satisfaction level is never met, and when it's close it just gets higher. I need to stop complaining though because it's going to get worse if I let it. i'm sorry for all of this.